My Internet Web Log is a Spaceship

For everyone reading my internet web log, I hope you understand that I picked these colors to make it like a spaceship. If you read my web log and forget that you’re reading inside a spaceship, try to remember that you’re INSIDE a spaceship. Especially when I write about science. When I write about sad things DO NOT visualize being on a spaceship because that would be incredibly counterproductive. Astronauts are usually having a good time. The only time you would find yourself sad on a spaceship is:

1) Another spaceship is shooting some type of energy "laser" at your spaceship that disrupts your levels of serotonin causing depression and diarrhea. We won't have to worry about this for years considering none of the superpowers have combat ready spaceships.

2) Rapid loss of oxygen supply

3) Malfunctioning robots or aliens or robot aliens are killing everyone on your spaceship. If you're a trained astronaut, a murderous alien shouldn't be unexpected or sad because it's kinda assumed they want to kill humans. Emotion shouldn’t be there at all actually, just precision reflex actions. On the other hand, imagine a robot named Jeffrey. He’s programmed to be your friend. (before I get swamped with comments, Jeffrey would be a non sexual friend. Even if you requested such a thing, I can’t imagine NASA would waste their time attaching synthetic fingers and what not to their mission robots) So Jeffrey is your friend, right? Going to have a great time, right!?! Wrong. Jeffrey wants to kill you. If a robot programmed to be your friend doesn't want to be your friend, that's the worst kind of rejection ever. Seriously, that is the definition of sad. I’d give anything for that robot and all he wants to do is kill me.

4) Someone on your space crew goes insane after blast off and either tries to commit suicide or joins forces with the robot/alien that is trying to kill you. There's a good chance this crew member is the one who reprogrammed the robot.

5) Something very technical happens. I don’t want to waste my time explaining these situations because you’re not an astronaut and you would get frustrated at the level of complexity. Don’t take that the wrong way, I'm not saying you're stupid. (If you are an astronaut, please contact me. We could probably learn a lot from one another and I can keep secrets if necessary)

In summary, spaceships are usually 100% positive environments. (in your mind or for real) So I don't want to waste my time writing about sad things when you're imagining yourself at Disneyland so please do not do it.

**If you ARE an astronaut and you have experiences that I could add to the list, please leave a comment.

Thank you and put sunscreen on your babies and my web log is a spaceship.