Discovery Channel LIVE HD Feed from ISS

One thing they don't teach in astronaut training is How To Establish Yourself on a Space Station. It's kinda like high school. do you want to be the #1 man or do you want to be in the Art Club? If something catches on fire or an emergency spacewalk is needed, they turn to their #1 man. If the landing gear is stuck or there's a loss of oxygen or an alien lifeform is detected (not as improbable as you may think), they turn to their #1 man. It's pretty simple, either you're #1 or you're taking one in the butt. So I've been working on ways to quickly place myself in the best scenarios that will lead me to be what I like to call AstoLeader One

I should note that I had originally planned to include this blog in my resume to NASA. I've changed that plan and will keep this blog personal. I want the world to get an honest look into the making of an astronaut. My true thoughts and feelings. If NASA was going to see this, this post wouldn't be possible. I'm going to share way too much for this to cross over into my professional life. So, from now on, you can expect nothing but raw insight.

Moving on to my plan for establishing myself as Leader of the Space Station. It all came to me while I watched The Discovery Channel's live feed from the International Space Station. Their cameras inside the ISS are a blessing from Jesus. It gives me a chance to basically learn the entire layout of the ISS. I'll show up knowing where everything is located. It's almost TOO easy and makes me worry I won't be the only one with this plan. Either way, I'll show up knowing most of the information that took them months to learn.

Here's the plan:

1) My shuttle will dock with the ISS. That's an acronym for International Space Station (I really do not want to type the whole thing out again. Bookmark wikipedia if you need help)

2) I'll greet everyone with a kiss on the cheek

3) Throw out some politically correct jokes (I usually stay PC anyway. It's best to assume that there's a woman or black person listening to you at all times. If you haven't noticed, the media will eat you alive if you're an astronaut and you say something inappropriate or wear diapers)

4) Stay humble if previous achievements come up in conversation

5) Before things get awkward, I'll ask to be excused to the bathroom pod. They'll say sure and start to tell me how to find it and that's when I cut them off and smirk "Thanks, but I already know where it is" and float directly to it while their mouths hang open. If I do it right, I'll start off with everyone thinking "hey, this new guy knows his sh*t". But I don't want to come off like an as$hole or "power trip" alpha-male...i'd be more like George Clooney. I see myself as the smarta$s, underachieving, rebel, but at the same time, I know more about space than everyone else on the space station so when it's time to man-up, the entire crew will look to me.

It's important for me to stress that even though I'll be the joker, I'll always be an ace up someone's sleeve. I'll work my ass off when it's crunch time repairing wings, solar panels, robots and observing how certain things are affected by zero gravity. "Work hard play hard" applies in space.

Anyway, it's a great show on Discovery Channel. Everyone should check it out. It may seem like it's for "brainiacs", but it's not. It's been watered down so the average person can enjoy it.

Heck, just watch it for the pretty images of Earth from space. Beautiful stuff.