Jesus Is My Scientist

I was chatting with this girl one day and she was hot and she asked me "If you believe in scientific theory and factual connectivity, how can you still be a Christian?" My answer is simple. Jesus is my scientist.

If Jesus came back today, and it was a casual visit and not apocalyptic, he would probably be really interested in science and its progressive nature. Science sometimes requires people to step outside their comfort zone of simple explanations and face harsh facts. Back in his day, Jesus was all about trying to get people to step outside their traditional but backwards ways. He was like "Hey people, don't throw stones at this chick, it would be unjust and barbaric. I know it is what you're accustomed to doing, but that is totally jacked up. Think about it ya bunch of uncivilized monkeys. I love all ya'll."

Jesus made people think because he was a thinker. Read the Bible and absorb some of the progressive stuff he says. He was way ahead of his time. And that is what science is all about. I'm pretty sure that if Jesus was around right now, he would win a Nobel within his first year. Imagine the look on everyones face when Jesus is at Harvard telling them how he changed the molecular behavior of water to allow him to walk on it! Once he did that, Dawkins would be embarrassed and all the scientists would worship Jesus and they'd probably just take his word for the other stuff he did. Hopefully he would visit some schools in the bible belt and tell everyone they're stupid for trying to push desperation science like creationism. I'd like to be there for that. I'd bring along my neighbor Eddie so I could rub it in his face because Eddie is an idiot neighbor who thinks more about keeping his grass green than about smart things.

And I was just kidding about chatting with a girl. I was brushing my teeth when I asked myself that question. I do chat with girls, just not that time. Next time I write about chatting with a girl, it won't be a joke because I do it all the time.