Good Morning America Dream

I just woke up from a horrible dream. Last week I signed up for an online astronaut training program, so it isn't surprising that in my dream I was on a spaceship.

In my dream artificial gravity wasn't invented yet, so it didn't take place very far in the future. I was looking out a window on the spaceship while on UCP (Unexpected Collision Patrol) when I suddenly realized I wasn't getting enough attention from mission control or my fellow crew members.

For whatever reason, I started to look around for ways to kill myself. It's a spaceship, so I couldn't find any knives, pills or guns, so I took off my astronaut belt and tied one end to the door of my closet and wrapped the other end around my neck. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stepped off my space stool.

When I opened my eyes, I was floating above the stool, slowly drifting up toward the closet. I forgot about the lack of gravity. I looked like a weightless fool. The other astronauts started laughing at me and then I realized I was on a live feed with Good Morning America and pretty much all of America was laughing at me. Then the President called and told me I was the WORST ASTRONAUT EVER to be on a spaceship and that included monkey and women astronauts.

That's when I woke up. I couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to write it down here. OK, going back to bed now. Ugh. And mom, it was just a dream. I don't want to kill myself.